Weekend Update: Post Announces Sour Patch Kids Cereal – SNL

Weekend Update: Post Announces Sour Patch Kids Cereal – SNL


>>POST CEREAL HAS ANNOUNCED
THEY WILL BE MAKING A NEW SOUR PATCH KIDS FLAVORED CEREAL.
IT’S A GREAT WAY TO START THE MORNING OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT
BECAUSE THE LEFT FOOT WAS TAKEN BY DIABETES.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>>AVIATION OFFICIALS REPORT
THAT TWO IRISH PILOTS CLAIM THAT THEY SAW AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING
OBJECT. BUT KEEP IN MIND, IRISH PILOT IS
ALSO THE HIGHEST READING ON A BREATHALYZER.
>>A LUXURY CANDY COMPANY IN CHICAGO WILL SOON START SELLING
RUBY CHOCOLATES AND THEY’RE GONNA GET SUED BECAUSE RUBY
CHOCOLATE IS MY DRAG NAME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>>WALT DISNEY WORLD REMOVED A MAN FROM THE PARK AS HE WAVED A
TRUMP 2020 DANNER ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN.
THE MAN ALSO DEMANDED TO SEPARATE IT’S A SMALL WORLD KIDS
FROM THEIR FAMILIES. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IRONICALLY, THE MAN HAD SNUCK INTO THE PARK THROUGH
EPCOT’S MEXICO PAVILION.>>>THE ANNUAL NEW YORK CITY
TAXI CALENDAR HAS BEEN RELEASED FEATURING PICTURES OF TOPLESS
CAB DRIVERS. WHILE A CALENDAR OF UBER DRIVERS
IS AVAILABLE ON THE SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>>A LESBIAN COUPLE MADE
MEDICAL HISTORY BY EACH TAKING TURNS CARRYING THEIR BABY’S
EMBRYO IN THEIR WOMBS. IT WAS A TOTALLY EQUAL EFFORT,
SAID THE ONE WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO GIVE BIRTH.
>>>BRITISH POLICE ARE ASKING A WOMAN WHO HID MORE THAN $300,000
WORTH OF COCAINE INSIDE HER DAUGHTER’S CANDY.
AUTHORITIES BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THEY NOTICED THE DAUGHTER
IS STILL TRICK-OR-TREATING. [ LAUGHTER ]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *