Romance Bookstore – SNL

Romance Bookstore – SNL


>>OH, SEXY.
BABY, IT’S AN EROTIC BOOKSTORE.>>ANYTHING TO HELP OUR DUMB ASS
DRY SPELL.>>WELCOME TO THE SCORCHED
COURSE ET WHERE FANTASIES DELIGHT.
>>WHAT MY FRIEND CAROL IS TRYING TO SAY IS LET US KNOW IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING.>>WE’RE JUST BROWSING.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING BY JACQUELIN LEVO?
>>HAVE YOU READ THE RANCH HAND AND THE ROW?
>>I HAVE NOT.>>OUR STOCK BOY SHOULD KNOW
WHERE IT IS. JOHN GEORGE.
>>YES.>>ASSIST ME AT ONCE.
>>SURE. LET’S GET THAT BOOK.
>>SHE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.>>OH, JOHN GEORGE, YOU WANT ME.
I KNOW IT, BUT WE’RE AT WORK. WE CAN’T.
A WOMAN OF MY STATURE WITH A BRUTE ACCUSTOMED TO MANUAL
LABOR.>>OH, YEAH.
I’M A BIG BOY. I HAVE A THICK NECK.
BIG HANDS. I’VE BEEN WANTING YOU SO BAD IN
THIS STORE.>>I’M SORRY.
WHAT’S GOING ON BACK THERE?>>OH, THAT’S JUST CAROL AND
DAN. SHE CALLS HIM JOHN GEORGE.
>>WHY?>>I DON’T KNOW.
BUT DON’T WORRY, THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING.
IT’S ALL SHOW AND NO GO.>>I FOUND IT.
HERE YOU GO. I HOPE THIS TEASES AND PLEASES.
NOW, GO. FREE OF CHARGE.
>>IT’S $5.>>HERE.
BETTER BE $5 OF BEDROOM MAGIC. COME ON.
>>HI. I’M LOOKING FOR A FUN LIGHT READ
FOR A LONG PLANE RIDE.>>PERHAPS YOU LIKE THE WORK OF
FEATHER DUBREAUX. JOHN GEORGE!
>>YES.>>TO THE BOOK CASE.
>>LET’S HUSTLE, CAROL.>>QUICK, TAKE ME AWAY TO A
FANTASY. I’M ON AN IRISH CLIFF.
MY HAIR IS RED AND VERY WIDE. IT’S BLOWING IN THE IRISH WIND,
AND I’M KNOWN ONLY AS LADY VELVET.
>>I’M THE GUY WHO PUTS THE HORSE FOOD IN THE HORSE BUCKET.
>>YES.>>I’M DIRTY, AND STRONG.
>>YES. YOU WORK ON MY ESTATE.
>>AND I HAVE THICK STEAK HANDS, RIGHT?
>>SO ARE THEY A COUPLE?>>NO.
THEY’RE DAMN NOT. THEY JUST WORK HERE.
I MEAN, SHE DOES.>>AND HE DOESN’T?
>>NO. HE WORKS FOR HER.
>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?>>SHE PAYS HIM OUT OF HER
PAYCHECK.>>BUT SHE’S THE OWNER?
>>NO, I AM.>>SO HE DOESN’T WORK HERE?
>>RIGHT.>>AND THAT DOESN’T BOTHER YOU?
>>IT REALLY DOES, BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, YOU KNOW?
>>MY TINY PINK NIPS SCREAM IN THE HOWLING WIND.
>>AND MY THICK STEAK HANDS REACH AT THOSE.
>>OH, BUT WE SHANT TOUCH BECAUSE I AM A LADY OF SATIN
GLOVES AND TINY DECADENT CAKES.>>AND I AM A DIRT MAN THAT
KNOWS ONLY SEX.>>TEACH ME!
>>GET THE BOOK! GET THE DAMN BOOK!
>>HERE, HERE. TAKE IT AS A GIFT.
NOW GO.>>NO, YOU MUST PAY.
>>THIS IS TANYA WHITMORE. SHE WRITES FILTH.
>>CAROL, FIX THIS.>>I SHALL.
JOHN GEORGE!>>I’M A CAVE MAN WITH A BIG
GUN.>>OH, AND I’M A HORNY WEALTHY
GHOST. WITH FULL THROTTLE KNOCKERS.
>>AND I GRAB YOUR GHOST BUTT WITH MY TEN POUND HANDS.
>>I’M REALLY SORRY. THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.>>LOOK, YOU TWO.
STOP IT AND LISTEN TO ME. I AM ON HORSEBACK.
LEATHER CHAPS MY SKIN AS I RIDE ATOP THE RED ROCKS OF SEDONA.
[ APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Romance Bookstore – SNL

  1. Damn, John Cena really look hot and handsome here in that sexy white dress.

    W.t.f. I am typing??? Looks like I am on the spell now.

  2. Thick steak hands?! That fisting must hurt like hell then. Very kinky…
    💦👊👄😏😏😏🍆🍩🍑
    🎶 wattpad story 🎶

  3. My heroine, Sarah Connor is back! Please watch T1 & T2 before this new version. She had the best arms, biceps, and screwed over a paych hospital staff ! A REAL woman.

  4. I paused at 3:00. . . . Saw John Cena's face. . . . . And could not have been happier.

    For that face, is the face that knows, that the life of that face has been blown to fucking smithereens! XD

  5. 2:40 made me snort tea down me jammies. Though that was the pinnacle. Hell naww. 3:25 has put full throttle knockers into my lexicon for ever. I needed my heart pills after that line, and I'm not even on heart pills.

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