Political Compass Rap

Political Compass Rap

That was quick. Hi. 👌Hi, I'm totalitarian right! 👌 👌I'm the voice of the people (if the people are white) 👌 👌Don't mean to get up in your face but we're getting replaced 👌 👌Culture war now, let's win this race! 👌 $ Okay, uh, 15 dollars, right? $ $ That's 1 dollar for every year that she's been alive $ $ Wha—ugh, I keep telling you, it's not pedophilia $ $ It's ephobophilia! Oh she's only 14? Guess it is pedophilia… $ $ Still, it's one dollar off, right? $ $ Oh, hi! I'm anarchist right. $ $ I don't believe in a state! None of this might makes right. $ $ I think market forces should guide the
world. $ $ And if there's a market for it I should be able to buy this girl $ $ 13 dollars 50 cents final offer $
☭ Ugh, you two make me sick! ☭ ☭ I am the proletariat! You two capitalist pigs will get round up and shot ☭ ☭ And I will speak for the weak whether they want me to or not! ☭ ☭ I am totalitarian left! ☭ ☭ My side is the best! I realized the last
five times we tried this we all starved to death! ☭ ☭ But I have a really good feeling about the next! ☭ Ⓐ I'm anarchists left and—oh
fuck. This is not the place for me Ⓐ Ⓐ How do all these ideologies suck so much? Anyone want some DMT? Ⓐ $ I'll have some $
—Ⓐ Here Ⓐ
$ Ew, not for free! $ $ How do you expect to stimulate the economy? $ Ⓐ Okay first things first: Fuck you. Ⓐ 👌 Wha-wha, what'd I do? 👌 Ⓐ Second, you want to crush people through the state! Ⓐ ☭ I mean yeah sure the state is great! ☭ Ⓐ You claim to want equality but how
can that be Ⓐ Ⓐ When the state is controlling how equal you can be! Ⓐ Ⓐ And third: Fuck you! Ⓐ Ⓐ And fourth, you're not even an anarchist, dude. Ⓐ ☭ You expect to keep the people in line without a state? Please ☭ ☭ At least the three of us aren't contradictory ☭ Ⓐ Wha—this guy claims to be an anarchist but fetishizes cops! Ⓐ $ Hey, if cops can be bought than cops are great! $ $ They're only bad when they're used as tools of the state! $ ☭ Ugh clearly you're the side most deserving of hate ☭ Ⓐ Are you fucking kidding me?! There's a Nazi in the Northeast! Ⓐ 👌 I do not-see what you mean 👌 ☭ Haha, this guy's a treat! ☭
—Ⓐ What the fuck! Ⓐ ☭ Stop whining about tyranny you'll never achieve anything with anarchy ☭ ☭ I only keep you around cause you shut their speech down! ☭ Ⓐ There should be no platform for government or Nazis Ⓐ 👌 Ahh, the left goes again threatening
free speech 👌 👌 I just want you to hear my important ideas! 👌 Ⓐ I'm not gonna listen to
fuckin Nazi! Ⓐ 👌 I'm not a Nazi! that's simply untrue! 👌 👌Though I will say, not a big fan
of the Jews 👌 $ Uh, globalists. He means globalists. $ 👌 What? No I don't. 👌 $ Work with me here! $ Ⓐ You're clearly a Nazi! Ⓐ 👌I'm more of a race realist white identitarian who believes in strong government 👌 👌 Sure, totalitarian, but I don't want genocide I just want an ethnostate! 👌 Ⓐ What if people don't want to leave? Ⓐ 👌 Then we have a genocide and it's great! 👌 $ Ugh this is why I can't associate with you! $ ☭ Agreed—come near me and it's World War Two 2. ☭ 👌 We both know there's a pipeline between you and me 👌 👌And you seem embarassed by how much we agree 👌 👌 And all you do is complain you goddamn hippie 👌 👌 You think everyone can just get along 👌 👌 But the truth is ruthless, you're ruled by the strong. 👌 ☭ Exactly, which is why we need to stop ☭ ☭ This wanton destruction of capitalist rot. ☭ ☭ You send your workers to die in early graves. ☭ ☭ The working class are your working slaves. ☭ $ Wait, what's wrong with slaves? Slaves are fine. $ 👌 Listen dude this is not the time 👌 Ⓐ Why do you think we need a state to do it? Ⓐ $ Yeah don't tread on me man! $ Ⓐ …screw it. Why are you like this, why you on my team? Ⓐ $ Oh, I'm sorry. Did you forget? $ $ Everything you have is made by capitalists. $ $ It's not a state. It's cold hard cash $ $ That builds your roads, and feeds your cats. $ $ Everything you're saying is utter bullshit. $ $ It's not a system of oppression just because you're bad at it. $ Ⓐ It is! You perpetuate a racist system! Ⓐ Ⓐ Capitalism is colonialism! Colonialism is racism! Ⓐ 👌 What's wrong with racism? 👌 $ Please shut the fuck up. $ $There you go again saying I see
race $ $ How can you say that shit with a straight face? $ $ The only color that I see
is green. $ $ Greed is the only way to true equality. $ Ⓐ Capitalism is destroying Mother Earth!Ⓐ ☭ You fascists prioritize human life under net worth. ☭ $ There the Left goes again, calling everyone fascist. $ 👌 Yeah it's very hurtful! 👌 $ ☭ Ⓐ You're actually fascist! $ ☭ Ⓐ 👌See this is what happens when you don't have a state 👌 👌Everyone just degenerates. 👌 ☭ That's right!—Wait why am I agreeing with you? ☭ ☭ Your ideology's killed millions!… Okay, true ☭ ☭ But I didn't mean it! ☭ 👌At least the people I kill are people I'm trying to 👌 👌The only people that you kill… is you! 👌 ☭ Says the person who's hero put a bullet through his brain! ☭ ☭ C'mere fascist scum feel some communist pain! ☭ 🍩 Guys, guys, centrist here! 🍩 🍩 All of this extremism is causing me fear! 🍩 🍩 Isn't there something everyone can just find together and agree on? 🍩 👌Not with them, they are the first to go! 👌 Ⓐ I'm not "engaging in
discourse" with these people Ⓐ $ There's no way I'm getting along with them! $ 🍩Come on, there must be something! 🍩 🍩I mean think about it! The supporters of all of you guys have anime profile pictures! 🍩 👌 That's degenerate! But… yes they do. 👌 🍩See, isn't that enough to bond the four of you? 🍩 Ⓐ Get out of here you neoliberal
scum! Ⓐ 👌Yeah, go preach peace to someone! 👌 $ I bet this cuck watches mainstream news! $ 👌$ ☭ Ⓐ Who the fuck watches mainstream news? 👌$ ☭ Ⓐ ☭ Wait, you guys hate the centrists too? ☭ $ I thought it was just me that thought that centrists were shit $ 👌$ ☭ Ⓐ But I guess we all hate the moderates! 👌$ ☭ Ⓐ ☭ You all still get the bullet though ☭ 👌 Can we get the gas chambers prepared for these three? 👌 Ⓐ I will bash all of your skulls in. Ⓐ $ I keep telling you, it's ephobophilia! $ 👌 We should commit genocide! 👌 Ⓐ We should… not do that? Ⓐ 🍩They both make such compelling arguments. 🍩

20 thoughts on “Political Compass Rap

  1. So, at the end, it's mister money which is the only one not to advocate violence ? Wow, that sucks. Can we have more than four options ? What does this rap looks like with the 8 poles of your 3rd axis of "culture" ?

  2. Says the person whose hero put a bullet through his brain

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOO nazi bois getting roasted there

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