How To Procrastinate Writing Your Novel

How To Procrastinate Writing Your Novel


if you’re watching this video you’re
already doing a fantastic job of procrastinating but don’t click off
because I need the few counts I’m currently working on writing my first
adult novel and it seems the closer I come to finishing it the more I
procrastinate I mean I really really want to finish writing this book I’m
very excited about this project and I want to get it out there and see this
bookshelf but it seems like every time I sit down to write two hours fly by I’m
like dude what did she do because you clearly didn’t write anything therefore
I have decided to make this video on procrastination during a great long
quiet amount of time where I could and should be writing and I think you need
it right it’s you that actually needs this video so you want to procrastinate
here’s tip number one set your phone on silent that way you can brag about how
nobody is going to bother you during this flow session but then make sure
that even though your phone is on silent you set it directly within I view so
that you can see every single time somebody calls you and every time you
have those weird you know brain silences you can fill that silence by checking
your phone every thirty seconds tip number two announce on social media that
you were taking a hiatus until you finish writing your novel and then
continue to go on social media but don’t actually post just see who actually
hearted and commented on the post that said you were going on a hiatus those
are your real friends after that you need to go through your friend list and
see who did not like or comment on the post about you taking a hiatus you would
then need to create a bunch of secret social media accounts so that you can
troll those friends and stalk them somewhere in the midst of this trolling
and stalking you’re going to push them back to your original social media and
they’re going to see that post about the hiatus if they still don’t comment haha
well then you know who’s getting unfollowed tip number three when you’re
sitting at your computer to write make sure that you first open as many tabs as
possible sure you’re sitting down to write a book but you also need to have a
second screen on the side that you can jump
back and forth between you’re going to want to open a Google tab to search the
neighbor you’re stalking to hate tweet Trump to Google random questions start a
Twitter account for your cat to Google yourself to check your negative bank
account balance just as many times as you can open the better tip number four
spend an obsessive amount of time creating a to-do list this is not just
any to-do list this is the to-do list of to-do list you’re going to need to color
code this thing you’re going to need stickers inspirational quotes you’re not
just gonna use any sort of paper you’re gonna get the cutest notebook that you
can find some heavy cardstock and you’re going to make this thing shine the great
thing is you’re going to spend so much time making today’s to-do list
you won’t actually get anything done on today’s to do this which means that
tomorrow’s to-do list it’s going to be twice the fun tip number five make sure
everybody knows that you’re not to be disturbed
don’t just take for granted that people are going to see your door closed and
not disturb you know you need to personally tell every single person make
quirky science to hang on your front door so that the amazon guy knows not to
ring the doorbell and get your dog all riled up send text messages make phone
calls just make sure nobody disturbs you this depending on who the people are
will probably help you procrastinate for 45 minutes to an hour and a half tip
number six have kids that way every time you actually have time to get something
done or to sit down and write your novel you’re going to be filled with this
amazing off built why am I actually working on this now nobody asked me to
write this book well people even read this book you’ve spent so long on a
project when your children don’t have clean underwear it’s great tip number
seven want to write a novel overthink every decision that needs to be made you
think you want to write this novel in just a basic word document no you don’t
ma’am you’re going to overthink that decision like the over-thinker that you
know that you are maybe you should actually go out and buy a special
program for novel writing they exist but before you pick which program you want
you’re going to want to read the 500 review is going to need to watch the
YouTube tutorials to need to ask for personal
recommendations and list the pros and cons of which is better and worse so
there you have it other reasons why I will never finish
writing this novel although I am fully aware of that the majority of this
probably stems from fear of rejection or fear of actual success or impostor
syndrome blah blah blah blah whatever Karen don’t forget to do Thanks
and stay tuned for a message from chewy do not put off until tomorrow what can
be put off till the day after tomorrow just as well Mark Twain

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