dVer’¹. Excerpt from the novel The First Sun of the Sixth Water (Alexandra Barvitskaya)

dVer’¹. Excerpt from the novel The First Sun of the Sixth Water (Alexandra Barvitskaya)


It happens that so. You wander everywhere for searching an entrance. And thousands of doors before you. And you want to come in to least one. In any! But all doors closed for you. And behind every – life, real life, full of
the power of the desire of life. A life in which nobody needs you. It happens that so. You are sitting behind the door inside. And you want to go out. Unbearable to want to go outside! Outside the door! Beyond the shell! There, where so hot beats hearty rhythm of
the life! But your doors shut tight. And there is no one who could open. But you expect that one day someone at the
door will be able to release you. And you are sitting inside for ages, and uselessly
waiting. Because in fact – nobody needs you. It happens that so. You are or outside the door or inside. But you expect the door to open for you! And you will rush to the place where the doors
were open only for you, because you are needs there! And … Oh, a miracle! Doors open! For you! And you strive at the door with all your might! But as soon as you step with one foot over
the doorway, the door slam shut! Right on your stomach. And you stay: neither inside nor outside – but
within the frame of the door frame. Because in reality you are not needed: neither
– outside, nor – inside! You are not needed. Nowhere. And to this «Nowhere» are needs your spiritual
meat only, which, growing together with the door frame, feeds the one who will never open
this door, because no one doesn’t need to him. He needs only meat. And you understand what made of you. Now that you are just meat for the guard door. And it also happens that way …
You wander everywhere, and you sit inside, and you get stuck – between. And you are looking, and waiting, and feeding
… As long as you can afford it. And then there is an explosion! And your identity is release! And the cork from the bottle flies out, in
which you hide the genie! And the universe is revealing self! And your world ceases be three-dimensional. And your identity, opening itself, opens all
the doors, flings open all the windows. And all the world is for you now. And you needs him. And he needs you. Very rarely, but still happens …
With all.

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